Am I Chap?

Send us your photograph and we'll assess your Chappist credentials. Your picture, along with our comments, will either be posted here, or published in the next edition of The Chap or the book of Am I Chap? (see below). The address is: Am I Chap? P.O. Box 39216, London SE3 0XS, or chap@thechap.net

(Right) Mrs. J Carter-Clavell (alias Holmes) & Mrs. L Roberts (alias Watson) are schoolmistresses who claim to be “taking style and elàn back into the profession at a school book day in Lancashire. Are we Chapettes?”
Stick-on bow ties and horrific colour combinations aside, the overall impression here is more Dr Who than Sherlock Holmes. One can only hope that the parents at the school book day were not aware that their children’s education was in the hands of these confused cross-dressers. The ladies ask whether they are Chapettes, yet they are dressed as Chaps. The sad fact is that they are neither, though one may probably ascribe this partly to the bulky flak jackets which schoolteachers are obliged to wear under their outer garments nowadays.

(Above) Ah. Some confusion here. The question was “Am I Chap?” not “Am I homosexual?”

(Above) Nothing wrong with a spot of gin and tonic, even when the glass is decorated with an unusual variant on the cocktail umbrella. Nothing wrong with facial hair that blends seamlessly with head hair. Nothing wrong with extending one’s cuffs in a self-important manner as if trying to draw attention to one’s cufflinks. Nothing wrong with any of these things – they just don’t make one a Chap.

(Right) It’s easy to be a Chap. One simply dons a cloth cap on top of the clothing worn by everyone else, then allows oneself to be photographed in a suitably racy background, in this case Le Mans Racetrack. Or so these two fellows thought. If it were that easy, everyone would be doing it. Nice cravat, though.

(Above) There is often a furore when a new waxwork is unveiled at Madame Tussauds, usually because it looks nothing like the real thing. In this case, they seem to have got it spot on, and the resemblance to two extras from the cast of It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum is uncanny. They should be moved away from that fire soon, though, as they already seem to be melting.

(Right) What is this strange checked cloth? It has the appearance of a tweed pattern, yet is clearly made from some sort of synthetic fabric. Would the sender please get in touch and enlighten us? One of the editorial team is looking for a suitably durable fabric to re-upholster the seats of his dinghy.

(Above) The answer would be a resounding "Yes!" if the question had been "Am I wearing Chaps?" Sadly for this young buck, we asked readers to send in photographs of themselves dressed in their best outfit, not the worst they could possibly find. His companion, however, in her interpretation of Frida Kahlo, shows far more imagination and panache, especially in the facial hair department. We therefore have no reservation in naming her a Chapette.

The Book of Am I Chap

We are currently producing a book featuring the best of Am I Chap? Due to a tragic technical difficulty, many of the original photographs have been lost. The editorial team therefore petition all Chaps, Chapettes or otherwise who have had their images published to re-submit their photographs, should they wish for them to be used in the book. Please send your pictures to: Am I Chap? P.O. Box 39216, London SE3 0XS, or lostchap@thechap.net