School Ties Banned

Bramhall High School in Stockport, Greater Manchester has banned its pupils from wearing knotted ties because it says they could pose a safety risk. They have decided that clip on ties will be regulation uniform at the School from September. The school's uniform shop has been stocking clip-ons for over a year to help with the crossover. Head teacher John Peckham, who dreamed up this beastly rule, said that the ties looked smarter on puplis, as well as preventing potential accidents. "Obviously, there is a health and safety element."

The Chap is unaware of any cases of schoolchildren being garotted by their ties, although it appears to be their imaginative knots that pose the greatest threat. "We also feel it is smarter, because older children will not wear the ties in a casual way. This is in line with places like the police and the armed forces."

Pupils who do not adhere to the new rule will be sent home, which sounds like more of a treat than a threat. At home they will have the rest of the day to perfect interesting knots and perhaps even experiment with bow ties and cravats. Nick Seaton, chairman of the Campaign for Real Education, said the school's decision was inexplicable. "It seems like another instance of political correctness and health and safety gone mad. Children have worn ties for decades and I have never heard of an accident in all that time." It seems as if indivuduality and free expression through neckwear is to be snuffed out as early as possible. What kind of future can there be for a child who has spent his entire schooldays wearing a clip-on tie?